Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Kili is an ENFP

See my Fili and Kili essay for scene details. For clarification on how the eight functions work, see here.

Dominant Ne: Kili is spontaneous and open-minded, always excited for new possibilities. He is very abstract (word play, view of stars, speech about Tauriel). He also doesn't revel in sensory experiences (like fighting).

Auxiliary Fi: Kili is very individualistic and has strong internally based morals that he will defend and speak up for no matter what. He also has a strong internal sense of self.

Tertiary Te: Kili takes effective action after coming to a conclusion (throwing himself forward in practically everything).

Inferior Si: Kili is sentimental (rune stone).


I'm going to wax poetic for a moment, which I don't normally do when typing a character. Kili is the character I fundamentally relate to, and it's incredibly validating to see an ENFP character given all the depth and nuance most people overlook.

For example, Kili has a self esteem problem. Most fans cannot see it, insisting that Kili is lighthearted and reckless, but it is obvious to me (we'll talk about the supposed 'recklessness' in a moment).

Kili seemingly wears his heart on his sleeve; being an excitable, outgoing, lighthearted, fun-loving, romantic dreamer. But he has a lot of reasons to have low self-esteem – both his physical features and personality are more elven than dwarven, he's not attracted to dwarven beauty standards, and he has the status of spare and assistant. A lifetime of feeling misunderstood and abnormal takes its toll.

What the filmmakers understood about many ENFP's is that they will happily gush for hours, but if you ask them to share their pain, they will immediately clam up. Red alert, deny! deny! deny! And while they will certainly get angry for a moment, they have a very hard time holding grudges.

Here are some quotes about ENFP's:
My experience is that most people perceive me to be excitable, bubbly, and as someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, but that’s just the shiny surface of the person I am. The truth is, my external behavior seeks to create a harmonious, positive vibe within my groups (Ne+Fi) in order to make a better environment for myself & others; as a charismatic extrovert, I know that wearing all my negative emotions on my sleeve would drain everyone around me, so instead, I rely on my Ne & Te to guide the conversation to topics that help me explore my inner emotional world (Fi). (source) 
We are the living embodiment of “forgive but don’t forget.” We remember everything, and unfortunately they’re usually the bad things. This can make us apprehensive about going into situations that have ended badly before and it can make us hard to win our trust back once broken. While we’re typically sunny, bright eyed optimists that doesn’t mean we don’t have something in the back of our mind that we think back to. 
We don’t actually wear our hearts on our sleeves. Shocking, I know! Being highly emotional, loud little roller coasters you’d think it’d be easy to get to know us but nope. We’re the weirdest mix of super private and an open book that you’ll ever meet. 
We are used to taking care of ourselves and being the fixer so when we find ourselves on the opposite end of things it can be disorienting. Sometimes we need to be taken care of…but we’ll never ask you to do it. This is where you’ll need to be the observant one, just step in and don’t let us fight you on it — because we will try to. Take care of us and when it’s our turn to do the same we’ll be there in a second. (source) 
Though this type gives off a light-hearted, fun-loving air, they actually take life quite seriously. ENFPs feel their lows just as intensely as they feel their highs – they just aren’t as comfortable expressing negative emotion as they are positive. (source) 
You know you're an ENFP when you love expressing your happiness and excitement about everything in life, but rarely display negativefeelings. There's a misconception that we are always happy people, but we meet the other end of the extreme as well. We just don't feel the need to share that side of our emotions. (source) 
After a trial like this, ENFPs may be reluctant to open up and commit, and it can take years for a partner to navigate their bewildering depth and intensity, falsely believing that ENFPs’ enthusiasm and apparent openness means that they wear everything on their sleeves. (source)  
Unfortunately, I have not yet met an ENFP who has NOT struggled with emotional issues or anxiety. Now isn’t that depressing? In fact, on PersonalityCafe, it’s truly rare to not see a thread about anxiety or depression on the first page of the ENFP section. Oh, but then why do we seem cheery so much of the time? Well, due to Fi, ENFPs don’t like show their strong emotions outwardly if they can help it. The stronger it is, the more internalized it gets. It’s a constant state of knowing exactly how terrible you feel, but being unable to put it into words, or not wanting to trouble others with your burden. Instead, a lot of ENFPs just go on being outwardly upbeat, especially in public. Because of that, it seems we’re all carefree and nothing troubles us. We veer towards being Stepford Smilers, or in some cases, Stepford Snarkers. (source) 
No, not every ENFP, but I think for the most part we’re very private when it comes to sharing our below the surface feelings, including depressed feelings. I have to realllly reallllly trust someone before I'll open up to them about my stressors/non-happy feelings/struggles going on with my life. I try to work out all the negative stuff on my own usually, partly bc I don't want to burden others & a big part bc I don't like being vulnerable. Even if my world is crashing down I try to find that one shining light & hold onto it tight like a kite string then when the winds die down I roll myself back in. And if I'm 100% honest sometimes I use my ability to only show my smile & happiness as a bit of armor. People see what you show them & you'd be surprised how if you willingly share a few happy details & smiles people assume that all there is to you is cupcakes & rainbows & they don't ask about the tough stuff...which means you don't have to face the tough stuff until you're ready & ONLY with the people you've observed/trusted enough to feel safe knowing the different parts of you. I think it's safe to assume that more often than I’d like to admit I use my smile as a defense mechanism. That's not to say that I'm not a happy person, I am genuinely joyful & amazed at life & all it entails but if I'm hurting you’d have to be pretty perceptive to see it. (source) 
ENFPs are on the sensitive side as children. They easily get their feelings hurt, and can often fall into depression. In public they may seem as enthusiastic, playful and active as ever, but in private they can be quite worried, depressed, and fearful. They are prone to self-blame and bouts of depression, and could use gentle encouragement from parents regularly of their love and acceptance. (source) 
A growing ENFP is an increasingly sensitive person who spends more and more time concerned with private matters of the heart. Whereas the public ENFP is active, entertaining, clever, and playful, the private one can be worried, fearful, and morose. Accepting both sides of their personality is essential to fully understanding themAccepting the child's feelings as valid, no matter how odd or irrational they may seem, is critical. ENFPs often suffer self-blame and may express doubts about their worthiness or their ability to handle the tough stuff. (source)
Kili shows all of this several times – in fact, the entire plot of his morgul wound is him denying it because he cannot cope with letting the others (especially Fili and Thorin) down and being a burden. Deny deny deny. 

The other thing that happens often is that people call Kili reckless and stupid. Neither of these things are true – the only action of Kili's that is reckless is when he wants to go after the noise on Ravenhill. Nothing else
is, and I'll try to explain why.

Wrongly being seen as 'stupid' is a common problem for ENFP's. Now, I'm not saying that all ENFP's are smart, or that intuitives are smarter than sensors. Every type is smart in its own way.

However, Ne is all about going beyond the concrete:
Getting your energy from social interaction, but disliking superficial conversations. Yes, I want to go to a party tonight. But a party full of contemplative people who want to alternate between taking shots and discussing the meaning of life. 
People underestimating your intelligence because you lead with the fun, upbeat parts of your personality. 
Others being surprised that you hold such strong opinions and beliefs, despite your easy-going nature. (source) 
The reality is that ENFPs’ spontaneity, the seeming inconsistency and erraticism the untrained eye sees, isn’t a product of flightiness or lack of depth, but the opposite – it is a drive to express ideas about a mystical, all-encompassing energy, in the confines of a physical world, and underlying it all is the uniting principle of love, expressed in many different ways, but unshakeable and infinite at its core. (source) 
They tend to see life as a big, complex puzzle where everything is connected – but unlike Analysts, who tend to see that puzzle as a series of systemic machinations, ENFPs see it through a prism of emotion, compassion and mysticism, and are always looking for a deeper meaning. (source)  
ENFPs can sometimes give off the idea that they don’t have a lot of complex thoughts inside of their minds, but the truth is quite the opposite. ENFPs have incredibly rich inner minds, filled with imagination and deep thoughts. They may not openly share the wonder that is inside of their minds, but that is simply because most people wouldn’t really understand. (source)
These deeply held values of the ENFP is something that most people do not perceive at first. ENFPs can appear casual, flexible and easy-going for most things in life but when they feel their values are being compromised, they will stand resolute and even stubborn, surprising even their closest co-workers. (source) 
ENFPs are driven to see the potential in everything; to see not what “is” but what “could be”. They live in a constant world of ideas, meanings and promise. To the ENFP the world is full of unending prospects and adventures; all must be explored and each day must count. The ENFP combines a thirst for discovery with a strong set of inner values that guides them in all their explorations. 
If you know an ENFP, what you’ll see is their eye for possibility. Their dominant function, Extraverted Intuition, works like an idea-generating machine. They see potential everywhere and they feel compelled, almost irresistibly, to make their dreams a reality. ENFPs are the friends that will inspire you when you feel down, who will have the amazing “crazy” ideas that are just so unique they might actually work! They are wildly intellectual yet rarely arrogant. 
One of the best ways to understand Extraverted Intuition is to compare it to its alternative; Extraverted Sensing (Se). Extraverted Sensing is all about making the most of what “is”. It’s about enjoying the moment, living for the now, taking advantage of current opportunities. Se-users are concrete and practical, yet adventurous (a trait they share with Ne-users). Ne-users focus on what “could be”; they have less interest in “now” and more interest in what is yet to come. They focus on improving and innovating, with less interest on accepting things for what they are. They are adventurous, like Se-users, and often energetic, like Se-users, but their main focus is in tomorrow, in exploring the new, the never-before-explored. They dislike the practical and yearn for the undiscovered, the theoretical, the abstract, the “magical”. They are also quick to spot underlying meanings, themes, and patterns. 
ENFPs may seem on the outside to be full of liveliness and charm. They ARE these things, but they are much more than that. They crave intellectual discussion and feel bored and restless if they have to focus on small-talk, everyday banter, or superficial topics. Because they are extroverted and tend to be friendly many people will gravitate towards them, but this may result in the ENFP unwittingly being a part of discussions that don’t naturally stimulate their Ne-dominant mind. 
In conversations where the focus is about practical realities or the day-to-day aspects of life, the ENFP can become bored and restless. If they can’t find imaginative, intellectual discussion with the people around them, they may revert more towards isolation and accessing their imagination through writing or reading on their own.  
ENFPs see numerous angles to every statement, and as a result, ENFPs don’t like “blanket” statements or black and white rules. They may go from being the friendliest person in the crowd to the staunchest advocate against the status quo in the blink of an eye! (source)
The most important thing to understand is that Kili's brain is wired to engage. Then, after perceiving the external possibilities, Fi does a quick morals check and gives Te permission to go ahead and implement the possibility. This is mostly subconscious, and usually happens within a second. Kili going after the lever is a perfect example.

This is not recklessness. Just because something happens quickly doesn't mean there's no thought behind it. Just because someone is lighthearted doesn't mean they're dumb – intelligence and seriousness are not synonyms.

Kili is the only intuitive in a race of sensors, and thus even more misunderstood. But how do we know Kili has Ne?

There is his insatiable curiosity. While all types are curious in their own way, Ne functions by constantly questioning what is.

One way we see this is how Kili perceives Bilbo. He doesn't perceive Bilbo the way his culture does and he doesn't perceive Bilbo based on Bilbo's actions in Bag End. Kili defends and bets on Bilbo because he sees and has faith in Bilbo's potential.

Kili's Ne also shines during his conversations with Tauriel. He has “always” abstracted the meaning of stars (cold and remote) and the joke in his word play lies in the opposite of his words (Tauriel's “or nothing” and his “or not”). He then
abstracts her by saying “she walks in starlight” - meaning that she walks in divine light.

Kili and Tauriel are truly perfect soulmates, and that's also shown through their complementary MBTI types. Tauriel is an ENTJ. In theory, the ENFP/ENTJ match is one of the best. 

Kili and Tauriel both lead with intuition, but Kili's Ne and Tauriel's Ni complement each other by perceiving different things. They share the same sense of humor, they are intense and passionate, with very strong senses of self and the same internal moral code. Tauriel excels at taking charge with external things, while Kili balances her out by excelling with taking charge internally with emotions. They truly complement each other perfectly.

Tauriel gets Kili, and the importance of that cannot be overstated. Dwarven culture exalts secrecy and prejudice, and tough love parenting. Because of this Thorin is stoic and harsh, and Dis worries and sees Kili as 'reckless' because he's wired to engage with the world. Fili gives Kili unconditional love, but has a very different personality and doesn't fully understand Kili.

Even with unconditional love, not bein
g understood gives the message of 'I'm abnormal'. And even if Kili tried, he can't rewire his brain. He will always be wired to engage. The fact that Kili's expression shows that he's caught in a memory and that his voice becomes vulnerable and pained when he says “remote and far away” is a big hint into his hidden feelings.

The last ENFP stereotype the filmmakers disproved is that ENFP's are extroverted party animals. Because Ne is an abstract function and does not need external sensory input, ENFP's and ENTP's are known as the most introverted extroverts. Many ENFP's identify as ambiverts, and having Ne followed by Fi means they need a lot of introspective alone time. We see Kili being introspective several times – when on watch before telling Bilbo about orcs, at nighttime in Rivendell, and in his cell before Tauriel approaches him.

I have not given many scene details here because they are all in my essay (linked above). However, I hope this explanation of ENFP's
has helped you understand Kili more clearly.

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